5 May, 2020
There is a humorous side to Coronavirus
1. Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks; the other half with a drinking problem.
2. I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune, now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe.
3. I need to practise social distancing with the refrigerator.
4. I still haven't decided where to go for my next well-earned break — the living room or the bedroom.
5. Every few days, try your jeans on just to make sure they still fit. Pyjamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.
6. I don't think anyone expected when we changed the clocks, we'd go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone.
7. This morning, I saw my neighbour talking to her cat again. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. When I got back into the house, I told my dog and we both laughed.
8. My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee, it cleans the toilet.
9. I'm so excited when it's time to take out the garbage. Then I have to decide what to wear?
10. I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to "Puerto Backyarda" cos I'm getting real tired of "Los Livingroom."
11. Better six feet apart than six feet under…
Stay safe everyone!